Creating a guest list may seem easy enough, but actually negotiating who will come can be as complicated as helping your bride to choose matching accessories for her wedding gown. It is just not easy for men to do.

Usually, the number of guests is divided evenly between the bride and groom's families. Then again, a wedding is generally considered the bride's day. She may feel that she can invite anyone she wants since her family will most likely be paying for the ceremony, and she's right. Her family may want to control the guest list since they are getting the bill, and may want to limit the number of "bottomless pit" friends of yours to invite to the reception. But you are also half of the event, and your family also has the right to assume whom to invite. So what do you do? The problem is creating a guest list that both you and your bride can agree on, without involving bloodshed or legal contracts.

Before even talking to your bride, draw a list of family and friends that you want to invite. Think about everyone, from your immediate family to your second cousins, childhood friends, and that old babysitter you had that replaced your mother for six years of your life. Anyone from school or work should also be considered. Just don't go adding every Tom, Dick, and Harry that has crossed your path. You want people you actually know on a personal level. This is the kind of person that could get you in trouble with your soon-to-be wife by recalling some of your delinquent years.

When this is thought through, divide the list into three groups and grade the people on how important they are to you. The "A" list consists of people you have to invite. Common sense tells you immediate family and best friends go here. Just remember they are "A-ok" with you to come. The "B" list consists of people that would be nice for you to see. It is not necessary that they "B" there, but they would be a nice addition to the party. Finally, the "C" list is people that you could live without and would not necessarily miss if they didn't come. You can "C" them or not, and you will manage to survive.

When you have the groups divided, show your wife and her family. If they say "invite them all," forget about your worries and forget about financial struggle for the rest of your life. They obviously don't care about the cost. But if they are strong in their opinion to only allow a selected few, you will at least be prepared for bargaining.

© Copyright Jacob Ramsey; all rights reserved.
Jacob is an editor of WeddingeXpress.com