Pre-wedding jitters are par for the course but can cause issues with your spouse to be if not taken care of.  Planning a wedding can be very stressful for both bride and groom.  During this time nerves can set in and cause unnecessary arguments, negative emotions, and even sickness if not careful.  In some cases, cold feet have caused the bride or groom to actually call off the wedding!

It’s time to take control.  Recognize that cold feet can happen but there is something you can do about it before jumping to any conclusions and causing your loved ones a lot of heartache.  Below are some helpful tips on how to avoid the dreadful bridal nerves and cold feet.

1.     Get away from the planning

Wedding planning in itself can be very stressful.  Meeting with photographers, planning the budget, and tasting cake samples can take its toll on the bride and groom.  Some brides-to-be exhibit characteristics of anxiety during the planning stage which may freak out the groom-to-be if he is accustomed to a peaceful and good-natured girl.  The emotions run high and the groom may do one of two things: fight or flight!

By getting away from the planning and taking a break, you will be able to reflect more on what’s important and less on the tedious tasks that will be there when you return.  Plan a night out with friends with the ground rule that the wedding will not be discussed.  Another way of escape is to take an afternoon for just you and get pampered.  Spas and manicures are a great way to relax and unwind.  The groom may want to go shoot a round of pool with the guys or watch a game with some friends and relax.  A couple’s date where the wedding planning is off limits is another way to bring the couple back to center!

2.     Rekindle the flame

During the wedding planning stage, a lot of couples experience a seemingly drifting apart in their relationship.  The woes of planning and budgeting can get to them and it can be crucially important to take time to rekindle the romance.  Many successfully married couples have reflected on the cold feet they experienced before the wedding and noted how important it was for the couple to remain tight.  Romance is key!

Planning a dinner together that is just you two is a must during this stage of life.  The dinner or date should take place periodically throughout the planning stage to prevent your love from getting off focus.

3.     Seek advice from a trusted friend

Getting pre-wedding jitters advice from someone who has been through it and conquered is important.  A trusted friend, person of influence, rabbi or pastor can steer you in the right direction.  The key component is not to get advice from just anybody.  You certainly don’t want to seek your bitter co-worker’s advice that has been divorced three times and questioning their sexuality.  The advice you get may be a little jaded and off course.

4.     Write down your fears

Take some time to keep a wedding journal detailing your emotions, feelings and desires.  Write down the fears you are experiencing and read and re-read them over the course of a few weeks.  Determine what the root of the fear is and provide a solution for each fear noted.  For example, maybe you are experiencing a fear over the loss of your identity.  The solution could be to instill a girl’s or boy’s night out each month or week.

Whatever the fear, aside from serious character issues, a solution may be in your control.  If it is your fear, you have the power to change it.